I've never understood that bit of the LDS culture. Yes, we had been in a rough patch for sometime with all of the changing happening around us, moving, starting residency, etc. So when our children bring home a potential mate that has cultural, racial, religious or other big differences then our child, our concerns immediately flare up.
Just remember that you chose one another. I am a military doctor's wife, so in addition to the hideous hours, we have deployments. In the interfaith marriages that work where one is LDS and the other is not religious, it only works out when the LDS partner is not fully a believer anymore. You will be able to best gauge where her beliefs stand in regards to the church if you listen to how she describes her mission. He was also a poor communicator and felt he didn't need to voice certain things, like 'I love you'.
I pray almost daily that his schedule will get better once we both started working, but I'm constantly concerned that I'll be doing most things alone too. I still cry every night for himbecause I love himprobably always will. What a bozza topic. Having seen many examples of the disaster it becomes when a member spouse pushes, coerces, ultimatums the non-member spouse into being baptized, I have very assiduously steered clear of those methods from the start. Just know that she has been indoctrinated to believe that she wont reach the highest level of heaven if she isn't married in a Mormon temple to another Mormon.
I'm not going to break up with her because of her religion, but if we can't come to some kind of understanding about what we'd do with kids After reading every page of that CES letter I am fully aware this religion is a complete fabrication. Sorry you had to go through this, but it's for the best if she's about to leave on a mission. And the you've seen the CES letter. COM you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or any other problem like wining lottery. His whole family joined after he did. He is truly my soulmate and I shudder to think that if I had not chosen to marry outside of the church, I would not have had this life with him.