But I have no idea how much of his lack of contact is actually due to him being busy or if that's just an excuse to not commit. There have been times in my marriage where I have been frustrated and angry by his lack of change. But DON'T become in need of care as a spouse. Seeing his mom, being the pillar of his family, scares me to think I will not be as strong as her, since I have always been the pampered child since young.
I went to BYU. Eventually I hope each wards get to a point where they know that as a ward family our job is simply to make sure that each person, member or non member knows that when they enter the house of the Lord, they are loved. I don't want to stress him.
She might want to follow the 'virgin until marriage' part, or she may personally decide to forego following that in secret. But he has been great till now. Either way, if you have kids and you don't convert, she will divorce you and take your kids away from you and you will be shunned from her community. If you have a literal belief that you need to have a temple marriage to go to the celestial kingdom, you will always keep a secret desire to convert your spouse.
If you are dating a Mormon man or woman, be genuinely interested in their religion. This is by design. I would never give up on him because he got nobody else. My spouse really is the most important and I would be nothing without them.