Can he see the good in it, or does he focus on the more controversial aspects. She will want her kids blessed, baptized, taking temple trips to baptize for the dead, hold the priesthood, a bishop will ask you sons and daughters if they masterbate and punish them if they do, etc. We were "forced" to discuss things such as our deepest goals, desires, priorities, and for us, possibly most importantly, how we show love and also perceive that we are being loved. I would never change my decision to marry him. Being married and raising a family can be very difficult if the two of you disagree about important issues like religion. I am a military doctor's wife, so in addition to the hideous hours, we have deployments. In fact, the church is designed to help people come unto Christ, who is the only one who can change our hearts and help us overcome ourselves to come back to him. I decided to do the mormon thing and just not think about it too much right now. Mastering the alone time has started to become an art for me I can only imagine how you must feel after doing it for so many more years: I am so glad I found your blog today.
Don't forget too that IF you are successful in turning the lights on and deconverting her, the family would resent you the rest of their lives. It is not something that should be taken lightly. The woman provides advice and counsel but doesn't preside. That said, Mormons have learned to have fun without alcohol and often have to wait until drinkers are well-oiled and loosened up to join in the dopey-ness. It won't be easy. Do you believe in the Gospel as taught by the Church. It all depends on the girl. If I just kind of take things as they come, everyone is happier. Make up stories about being a soldier at war or a sailor at sea keeping me away from my love. The complete week I stay alone and feel lonely without a call or a message and even sometimes without a reply.
The two of you can get married in the temple and live together forever for eternity. You can feel it in your bones. She is a returned missionary, and won't Marry you if you want to stay atheist. When those are not around or when the circumstances or the spirit indicate otherwise then prayer is more than enough. Marriage is meant to be eternal. And unless they are total cretins your ward members will love him too. I know that when we have children I will be doing most of the work. I had this issue with my husband and I had to straight out tell him what I needed because he had no clue.
The first year is mostly research with regular hours followed by those daunting 3 years. Most mormon girls look at guys like you as a project and that they have a lifetime to work on the project. But I was unusual in that I never really wanted to convert my husband I was worried I'd have to divorce him if he turned true Mormon and he didn't need me to believe way he does.