I've been married to a doctor for 5 years now been together for 11 years and he is in his first year of Anaesthetics. Hopefully they have some say in it, but I'm speaking about other churchgoers' expectations here, and probably your wife's. I had no idea how hard it could get. Or do you just push through the exhaustion because you care about the person and do things to make them happy even when you don't always feel like it. You will have to convert and betray your ideals to keep the relationship alive. If your relationship is moving forward, or she suggests doing something more expensive, it is not inappropriate for her to help pay as well.
My nonmember husband and I have been married for almost 18 years. As I started to date and fall in love with my husband, almost everyone I knew was against it. Religious affiliation is not the only criteria when selecting a spouse. It is an act of faith. The submariner's wives are in a similar situation. God told me to marry my husband. It is an act of faith. But it would not change my love for that person. Given the fact that doctors, esp surgeons, have a very busy life in US, it seems logical. I do not text or call him frequently-- I'll send him the occasional message, but generally I let him initiate contact and dictate the pace.
Want to add to the discussion. Never marry someone with the goal of a post-marriage conversion. I am thinking about him pretty much all the time.
Oh, and remember LDS girls are usually good at leading guys on with potential sex to get guys to agree to what they want join the church. And no one has the right to judge you for your decision. I was spiritually prepared to receive the answer that I sought. And the nonmember spouse may just put pressure on the member spouse to spend more time with them. Well, maybe not a total disaster, that is a bit exaggerated. He was my first boyfirend and is an amazing husband. He studies all day and night I live in my own world and my own circle. He has no vices, is the happiest person I know, is a healthy role model of manhood for my teen daughter and loves me to the depth of his soul.