If she is as real deal as you say she is, she believes this also. Mormon girls are taught that they have a divine nature. You are expecting him to be like your exes and you want him to be the one to chase you. They are taught to refrain from smoking, drinking, or experimenting with drugs. I know it will get better over time. And no one has the right to judge you for your decision.
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Although with the change in times, people may not follow these rules as stringently as before, it is still better to be careful so as to not offend anyone, and you may possibly land up with the love of your life. Being the first in his family to make it, he now supports the lives of those who didn't. It is hard for the others to understand my situation, people must just think that you don't need to worry about anything, but this is not the case. It has to do with their character.
The bottom line is that you are setting yourself up for difficult times ahead. You will always be 2nd. And as many posters stated, it is something that needs to be seriously discussed with your potential partner. Mormon theology is pretty clear: But Mormon theology is also rich with opportunities for second chances. He can relate to me and we can relate to each other which makes us strong to begin with.
Actually, Mormon families are shrinking, just like those outside the Church, but they will always be larger than families outside Mormondom. God roots for both our teamsвthe hopeful screw-ups and the straights. Most of the doctors I know are either way older and in private practices where they can set their schedules a bit OR they're my age and still going crazy with residency hours. Love the way you normalize the challenges of being married.