You would be able to force her to confront the facts without feeling threatened. Although it may indeed be a good idea to get out of this one, we all need to keep in mind that the situation is more complex than that. God knows the big picture. Mine was in California, back in the 70s. Cousin the same age who just got married has known her husband 6 months. I can't complain about the first 24yrs. We also struggle with infertility. Think of every possible scenario you can think of. He has lived alone forever and now we are living together, engaged, and of course, I have moved to another state to be with him. Some of the most wonderful lesbian sex I've ever had was with a TBM girl.
As a non member you can not take her to the celestial kingdom to live with God and get your own worlds to populate with her. I don't know what to really do to find time to be with him. But is it the path that will make you the happiest. I've never understood that bit of the LDS culture. She will want her kids blessed, baptized, taking temple trips to baptize for the dead, hold the priesthood, a bishop will ask you sons and daughters if they masterbate and punish them if they do, etc. And by joining I mean become just as fanatic in it as she is All her life she's been taught that she needs to be married in a Mormon temple Wife left when I came out If her family are all Traditional Believing Mormons, they will try to convert you. If they believe their religion, they will ultimately cause you pain and disappointment. I have observed in relationships among friends and family inside and outside of the church that holding a temple recommend does not guarantee a strong, happy marriage.
This always seemed terribly wrong to me. Sure it's lonely and hard work being a "single parent". Of course she won't want to watch something that in her mind attacks her religion. This is how I felt when I married my exmo husband. No one knows your situation the way you do. I think nothing really prepared either of us for fellowship though. She said we couldn't watch it because the lady who produced the doc was formerly a professor at BYU but has since left the church, so she wouldn't have anything good to say.
He will not be permitted to bless the child in front of the ward, for instance, so you will have to choose to forego that ritual or find someone else to stand in for the father, which he may not be comfortable with. In each case, you should also consider how this will affect your families. He may never come out and say it, but if you mention marriage outside of the church and he's OK with it, you have a slight chance of being happily married to her and not being mormon. It wouldn't be as often as from someone with an ordinary job and schedule, but it would happen. I think he tries to listen but doesn't know how. If she is still Mormon and you are not, she will always secretly hope that you convert, just like you will always secretly hope she leaves the church. I have had to compromise more often than I would have liked. Don't wait for it to eventually fall apart or hope that she will change.