If you can genuinely deconvert her then cool. I am sooooo proud of him but his career has broken me in a way I don't know if I can piece back together. I have no support system; you are so fortunate to have weekly dates with your DH.
I'd at least insist that at 12 the kids can choose to disaffiliate. You are too young to deal with this. It sounds like she's already considered marrying you and raising children in the church even with you being out of the church.
There will be sacrifices but I am hopeful. I have recently seen too much of these false promises that people use to make others feel good. Anyway, you got yourself a treasure. I have no family nearby as I am from a different country. Is he aware that if your children are faithful members of the church they might end of marrying in the temple and he would not be allowed to attend the ceremony.
I used to be religious when I was a kid. Your relationship with your family will be healed, and so will you. They are exhausted, under tons of pressure, stressed, and expected to be studying hours after their long shifts. In many ways, she was everything that I ever wanted in a spouse, but in other ways she was not what I ever expected. Do people that are that busy honestly not have time to even think about their SO. She's already past her prime in the Mormon dating market. Mind control is not child's play, and the Mormon church has real people's blood on their hands for the despicable damage they've caused. I have been that crazy lady with four kids alone at everything, school events, home events, church events.